Tuesday, June 3, 2014

★1 Year Indie-Anniversary...Exclusive Scene★


Voted on by the My Way Girls

Special Scene from MILES


Dear Willow’s Notebook,

She threw you away again, and once again I pulled you from the trash.  That girl.  Over the years, I ‘ve been blessed to witness her grow into a beautiful and strong woman.  So this time, I’ll take it easy on her.  I won’t hand you back over to her because I know she doesn’t need this outlet anymore; instead I’ll begin my story on your pages.   It’s kind of our thing; there can’t be a Willow without a Miles or a Miles without a Willow, so there’s no way in hell I’m a fresh new notebook.

Let’s catch up to real time like real quick.  We got our Ridley, got married, and I knocked her up not only once, but twice.  Cool, uh?  No really, watching Willow become a mother with our oldest, Ridley, has been nothing but magical.  Looking back, her heart chose him the same day she met him.  Wynnie was the first to call it.  Then came our Abbott.  Holding Willow’s hand through her tears, joys, and fears the entire nine months is something I never dreamed I would experience or can even begin to explain.   

Call me an ass, but I’d give my left nut to have my girl bare foot and pregnant year around. Willow is the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever laid eyes.  She simply glows.  And well, her sex drive while pregnant is off the charts. The car.  My shop.  The porch.   Every surface in the house.  Yeah, I want her barefoot and pregnant.

Abott’s third birthday was four weeks ago.  It’s a bitter-sweet memory.  We were surrounded by our family, celebrating our child and it was amazing.  Cree, Tripp, and their families came out.  I’ll be the first to admit that our little trailer can’t fit eleven Fitzpatricks.  We spent the day at the ocean and then grilled here at the trailer .  The next morning Wynnie never showed up for breakfast.  At the time, I found it odd because she was always the first to rise, kiss the sleeping boys, read the newspaper, and start breakfast. It’s when I heard Willow’s screams that I instantly knew why she never made it to breakfast. 

I try like hell everyday to be strong for my boys and wife, but find it impossible some days to hold on to any hope of sanity.  Wynnie wasn’t my mom, she was more; she was my everything.  My hero.  My savior.  The reason I met Willow.  Ridley struggles the most with Wynnie being gone.  Some days I can’t even be strong enough for him and that’s when Willow scoops him and crawls into my recliner with me and we all cry for what we lost. Then little Abbot comes running and is a quick reminder of everything we have together.  Wynnie was that person everybody deserves to have in their life.  The one that says things that aren’t easy to hear , but need to be said.  The one who will tell you, you are wrong and to cut the shit.  And the one to tell you it is okay to feel and live the pain. 

There was one open gravesite next to my mom’s. While planning the service, I had to decide where Wynnie would finally rest in peace.  Throughout, the whole process, I could hear her lecturing me, “You don’t hate your mom, son.  Hate is a strong word and you never want that running in your blood.”  But when it came right down to it, Wynnie didn’t deserve to be buried next to the likes of my mother.  I didn’t have a choice being born into this cesspool I was dealt, but I sure in the hell have the choice to bury my Wynnie in a place she deserved. 

Bitter-sweet is the only world I have, so you see now notebook you’re mine to tell my story on.  Willow’s expecting again.  We think this will be our last one.  She’s determined not to find out what we are having.  I begged to do the envelope thing, so at our last appointment the nurse put the results in an envelope for my eyes only.  I’m shocked as shit that Willow hasn’t been begging to know.  Not once has she asked me the results or even asked for a hint.  The other night over dinner, I could tell it was on the tip of her tongue.  I gave her my signature crotch grab and wink and she instantly knew better. 

I look forward to the future.  I’m not afraid of anything because I have my wife and children and nothing else can come between us.  The world can hurt us and try to break us, but will never succeed.  Wynnie taught me a few things and that’s to love deep and hard and when there are those who abuse it, move on and focus on the true treasure of life, never losing sight of the real loves in your life.  All I have leFt to say isI can’t wait until little Wynnie gets to meet her mommy. 


PS-I won dick wars by quite a bit.  C’mon, like that’s a real shocker, people!

A special treat from me!  The way Miles proposed!  Thank you, My Way Girls!  
 Love You Always,
HJ Bellus

Blog Design by Get Polished